A man walked up to me and began making small chat with me. He was several years older than me (read: about 20…), so I assumed it was harmless. Lesson learned, never a good idea to make assumptions. He eventually began to curb the small chat.
No. Please. Don't do the creep.
Do you smoke? No.
Are you married? No.
Do you have a boyfriend? No.
Can I be your boyfriend? No.
<<sigh>>
Him: Why not?
Me: I don’t want a boyfriend.
Him: Nah…. You don’t want a BLACK boyfriend.
<<sigh>>
Me: No… I don’t want ANY boyfriend…
Him: Why not?
Me: I value my independence.
Him: Come on, girl. Just give me a chance, I’ll treat you real nice.
Me: I bet you would….
<<So, then we got to the chorus. Which ran about 5-10 minutes.>>
Him: Please, please, please, please, please.
Me: No, no, no, no, no.
<<A lady walked by, I begged her with my eyes to come talk to me so I had some back up. She totally missed the cue.>>
Him: Please, please, please, please, please.
Me: No, no, no, no, no.
<<Eventually, I got really irritated with the whole thing.>>
Me: Look. If I told you I was gay, would you leave me alone?
Him: Are you gay?
Me: If I say yes, will you go away?
Him: Yeah, just tell me, now I have to know.
Me: Ok, fine. I. Am. Gay. Now, go away.
Him: Ok, baby…. but if you ever change your mind…..
<<Then he walked away and stared at me awkwardly for the next ten minutes.>>
That’s the first time I’ve ever tried the gay line. I have to say, I was fairly pleased with the results!
Why don’t people get it? No means no! I’m not playing hard to get. I’m literally telling you to go away. <<SIGH!!>>
So, this leads me to my philosophical musings of the day. Why does society assume that a woman who is not already attached is looking for her other half? He questioned my status, then asked if he could fill the ‘void.’ There was no moment in time where he questioned if there was actually a void to be filled. Is it so foreign a concept that I simply enjoy being empowered and independent? That I’m not looking to be rescued by a knight in shining armor? I am not a ‘half person.’ I don’t need to be completed.
I gave him the truth, and he shrugged it off, assuming I was being racist and just using it as an excuse. When I told him the lie, he actually bought it, despite how obviously scripted it was.
This whole scenario rubbed my feminist hairs the wrong way. Dear sir: You don’t get to decide my motivations, desires, and directions in life. Those are mine alone and not for you to speculate or contradict. I said no, now respect that and leave me alone! P.S. Groveling is extraordinarily unattractive anyway.
Haaaah....
Looking to kill more time?
- seriously, read this: A rant about street harassment (hahayourefunny.wordpress.com)
- If You Wannabe My Lover, You Gotta Get With My Friends: On Feminist Friendships (lachristagreco.com)
The Bus Challenge 